Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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