somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
