Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize