its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
