Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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