i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
