curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
