to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
