Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
