Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Every concussion has its silver lining
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
