also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize