yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
