Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't turn off my feet"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize