its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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