guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
someone get that fucking seahorse.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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