Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
