I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
