I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
