my vag is so smooth its legendary
he thought i was a dude.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
