i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
