ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
