is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
