the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
