Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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