I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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