It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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