He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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