i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
