farters have to be the big spoon...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
