She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
