wrigley field is MILF paradise
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
