how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
