I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
