Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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