I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
