I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
