So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
