As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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