Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
