I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
