It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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