Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the day after is always just damage control
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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