I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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