I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
