You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
