In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
