Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am naked and annoyed.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
