I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
