Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
