I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Randomize
