So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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