i just identified you from a description of your pipe
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize