Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
