Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
