Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
