if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize