He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
