Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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