I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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