i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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