I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
