having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
