i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
