i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Congratulations! We have a period
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