the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
