More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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