omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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