I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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