Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize